


two headlights shine through the sleepless night

by acrossthestarss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), One Shot, Romance, Well sort of happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-26 03:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6222160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrossthestarss/pseuds/acrossthestarss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"for a moment, they were each other’s heartbeats, each other’s breath, each other’s soul..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	two headlights shine through the sleepless night

**Author's Note:**

> this was based on the prompt, "trouble sleeping," someone requested on tumblr. enjoy!!!
> 
> the title was inspired by Taylor Swift's "Treacherous"

It had already been a long day.

It had taken Anakin nearly _eight_ _hours_ to get back to Coruscant, back home, and once he’d returned, he was forced into another loathsome briefing with the Council at the Temple before he could see her again.

And once he finally made it back to their apartment, she wasn’t even there.

Threepio said she’d had an emergency meeting at the Senate and she’d be back soon, but Anakin had heard the word _soon_ too many times lately.

_Soon I’ll be back from my mission._

_Soon_ _we’ll find a peaceful solution to this mess._

_Soon the war will be over._

_Soon we’ll get to start our life together._

But “soon” still hadn’t come.

Obi Wan had always said he’d been too impatient, and the war had only started about six months ago, but Anakin, though he was always up for an adventure, wanted nothing more than this conflict to end so he could leave the Jedi for good.

Of course, he’d leave them right now if he could.

But Padmé didn’t think the same.

He’d started again when she got home, about how they could easily leave everything behind and let the galaxy make a mess of itself without forcing them into it, how he would drop everything and leave if she just said the word.

She never did, though, because she was too good of a person, she was better than Anakin would ever be. And he sometimes wished she wasn’t.

He probably shouldn’t have told her that.

Then he’d wished _soon_ could’ve lasted a little longer that day, long enough for him to get a grip on his selfish desires and just _be there_ with her, because then they were both speaking louder than normal, and as Anakin dreaded daily now it seemed, on the brink of another battle.

She was going on again about how she couldn’t just leave everything behind, and how everything she’d been working for couldn’t just be abandoned without care. This was the biggest war since the formation of the Republic _itself_ , she’d said, and as much as she wished she could pretend not to care like the rest of the galaxy, it was simply impossible for her to do that.

Anakin had always admired this about her. Force, it was half the reason he’d fallen in love with her in the first place! That’s what made this so difficult.

Nevertheless, he tried again. He constantly wondered why they had to wait till the end of the war to start their lives, he’d said, and it could be _years_ before the war even came close to ending. And honestly, he could be _dead_ by the time this conflict was over.

He felt like she didn’t care about him as much as he cared for her, like the messed-up, corrupt senate was more important to her than their love. _Why didn’t you just marry the senate instead?_ he found himself asking angrily.

Padmé’s eyes widened with anger, with hurt. She couldn’t believe him, she’d screamed, as she thrusted her hand to the door and commanded him to leave.

Anakin started stumbling towards the door, as she cried for him to _get out_ once more. Climbing into his ship and flying himself away, far away, had been a blur, and he didn’t even notice reality until he found himself lying in his bed at the temple, alone on Coruscant for the first time in months.

A long day, indeed.

* * *

It had all been a blur, and it was only when her breath returned to her that she came back to her senses.

They'd never fought before.

Padmé felt as if they’d only been together a few minutes, a few seconds, but when she looked on the chrono on the wall, she saw it had been an entire hour.

Three o'clock in the morning had come sooner than she’d expected, and she’d thought she would be in her bed _not_ alone at this point in the evening, but of course, the night had gone completely different than she’d planned.

Most things with Anakin never did go according to plan, anyways.

The sudden, yet all-too-familiar feeling of emptiness, of loneliness, settled into her chest like it always did when he left, but it was even worse this time, because for once it was her own fault she felt this way.

What had he expected her to do, though? Did he just assume she would throw away her duties to the republic, to its people, to run away with him like an irresponsible teenager? Of course not, but that didn’t mean she loved him any less, and he should know that.

She hadn’t done anything wrong.

Right?

With that thought, Padmé left the living room and climbed into her bed.

By herself.

The room felt colder than normal, but Padmé just assumed it was because winter was starting on Coruscant. She tried to sleep, but found it practically impossible.

Her bed felt too large, too empty, for just one person, and the growing feeling of emptiness in her stomach only served to remind her that she _wouldn’t_ be sleeping tonight, not even for a second. She lied awake restlessly for a while, days it seemed, until the weight of what had just occurred fell onto her chest like a boulder.

She tried to push it away, to pick it up and move it like was any piece of garbage cluttering her room, but her guilt pressed it down harder, and she was unable to escape, trapped beneath the fear that Anakin wouldn’t be coming back this time.

_What have I done?_

* * *

Anakin remembered a time when the Temple didn’t feel so lonely.

Back when he was a padawan, he and Obi-Wan used to share their quarters…they each had their own bedroom, and the rooms were connected by a small common area that included a living space and a kitchenette. It hadn’t been much, but at least they knew that someone was always no more than a few yards away. Anakin would cook meals sometimes, and Obi-Wan would make them both tea before they began training for the day. 

Being a Knight was far different.

Anakin’s quarters were much smaller now, and there was hardly enough room for him, let alone another person. Perhaps that’s why he never stayed there while he was back on Coruscant, for he always had somewhere better to go, somewhere where he knew someone loved him.

That had been nice.

After tonight, he’d only wished he’d thought before he’d spoken (which had always been a challenge for him, as Obi-Wan could recall) because he’d forgotten to mention _why_ he cared so much. He hated sneaking around, he hated having to wait _days,_ sometimes _weeks_ to see Padmé, and he knew she hated it too. He hated it so much that he hated it enough for the both of them, there wasn’t enough hate towards their circumstances left for her because he’d taken it all, so she didn’t have to worry as much as he had to.

And sure, maybe he’d dreamed of being a Jedi once, but that was before he fell in love with Padmé. All he cared about now was whether she was happy, whether she had everything she wanted and needed because he couldn’t give her anything, whether she loved him. He knew she felt the same, he _hoped_ she felt the same, but she didn’t have to worry over the possibility that she couldn’t give him everything she wanted. All Anakin wanted was her love, but they both wanted a normal life, the freedom to be in love without the weight of the war pressing against their shoulders. He wanted to give her the relationship and time she deserved, but the galaxy’s ongoing conflict continued to tear them apart, and Padmé was too selfless to walk away from it all.

Soon he felt his mind stretch out, he felt himself reaching for her, searching for her within the living Force, for he needed her, he'd been away too long.

And far away, on the other side of the city, Padmé felt something wake her from her troublesome sleep.

She sat up suddenly in her bed, and she felt a familiar presence drifting along in the silence of her bedroom.

It called to her, it beckoned her, and she reached her hand out as to touch it, to hold it in the absence of her husband, for she could suddenly feel his love from miles away.

For a moment, they were each other’s heartbeats, each other’s breath, each other’s soul. They thought and felt as one, and all they were thinking of was their love, all they could feel was a deep longing. Tears found their way into both of their eyes.

He need not say it, nor she need search for it, for she felt his never ending declaration of love in their bond, and he felt her affirmation as she held onto the lifeline that connected them across the city.

They both wept.

And it didn’t matter the distance, the time it took, for all they had left to rely on was their love, and it could overcome whatever boundaries, be it war or duty, that was set in their way.

The connection was broken abruptly, for a young Jedi Knight was leaving the Temple to climb into his speeder and fly to his love.

* * *

_This was all my fault_ , thought Padmé, her face still stained with tears.

She thanked whatever gods were listening that Anakin wasn't here to see her like this, though she wanted nothing more than to have him in her arms so she could tell him that he'd done nothing wrong, that she loved him.

Her Ani never meant to hurt her, his means of expressing his emotions were just... _unconventional_ at best. If only they could just learn to be more patient, for she knew this war wouldn't last forever, though it most certainly felt that way for their young hearts. 

And now the only thing she could hear was the voice in her head telling her Anakin wasn't coming back, he's never coming back, it's all your fault.

Her fear was barely disturbed by the bright lights that appeared outside the veranda window down the hall, but the sound of a ship docking on the landing bay was enough to shake her from her melancholy stupor.

Padmé's head turned swiftly towards the door, a hopeful gleam in her eyes amongst the tears, and she immediately rose and raced to the veranda door.

A familiar speeder, one that had been docked in the very same place just hours before, was now perched outside her living room.

She waited.

A tall figure finally emerged from the speeder, breaking into a run as Padmé held her breath.

Anakin bounded for the door, and he was only inches away from his wife when he stopped.

He waited.

Neither knew who would break the silence holding them apart first.

Soon, though, they each took a step, shattering the conflict that had separated them for too long.

They fell into each other's arms, vulnerable and desperate, and held each other close as the night continued to creep closer to another day, another battle.

Anakin held Padmé at arm's length, and soon her hand was in his as they walked away from the cold morning air and into the warmth of Padmé's—their home.

There would be no more words tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on Tumblr at acrossthestarss.tumblr.com, feel free to request anything!! currently working on the final chapter of Vanilla Latte so it may be a little while before i do anything else haha. until then, may the force be with you :D


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